April 12, 2023
Catherine Sinnott

Boundaries for a Partner Who Uses Drugs

Drug involvement is often a tipping point that pushes individuals over the edge of their ability to stay in relationships. If you are not putting yourself in immediate danger, it is OK to reprimand someone who is breaching a boundary. 

Which limits should be set? 

When involved with a drug user, it's crucial to establish limits for your safety. The only way to guarantee that you won't be exposed to the risks of drug usage is for your partner to abstain from using drugs in the first place. It's critical to establish firm limits with your partner. Make it clear that you will not stand for drug usage and enforce your policy strictly. A strategy for what to do if your partner starts abusing drugs is also crucial. Always know whom to contact for assistance and where to go to feel safe. Establishing these limits is not always straightforward and can be complicated but doing so is crucial to your security and well-being. 


Methods for Limiting Substance Use with a Significant Other 

Setting abstinence limits with a partner who takes drugs may be difficult, but it's crucial for your well-being. Some suggestions for establishing limitations: 


  • To begin, it's important to have frank and open discussions about what you want to gain from the partnership. Make it plain to your partner early on that you have strong objections to drug use. 


  • Please talk about your motivation for them quitting drugs. Get your partner's take on why you feel this way and gauge their receptivity. 


  • Third, set in stone limits on substance abuse. Send a strong message that your relationship will have zero tolerance for drug usage. 


  • If you need to, talk to a trusted friend or family member. If you feel overwhelmed, talk to someone you trust for assistance. 


What to do if your partner has an addiction and you want to set limits on their drinking 


When one spouse is an addict, setting and sticking to boundaries that encourage sobriety may be challenging. However, you may establish these limits by talking to them about what you expect from them and why you think they're essential. It is vital to show your partner compassion while protecting/respecting your emotions and being steadfast in your commitment to a drug-free relationship. 


Have a frank discussion about your partner's drug usage limitations and expectations with your spouse. Explain in detail why you consider these limits essential. Be encouraging of your partner's sobriety efforts but steadfast in your decision to keep the relationship drug-free. Do not provide any support, either material or emotional, for your spouse if they have a relapse. This will only enable their addiction and make it more difficult for them to become sober. 


If you and your partner are having difficulty setting and keeping abstinence limits, it is recommended that you seek specialist professional assistance. Therapy by an addictions expert will be helpful if you and your spouse are having trouble communicating about your expectations for abstinence. Support groups (Narcotics Anonymous and CODA) are wise and established routes for abstinence-based support. 


After a limit has been established, what occurs? 

If you have established a limit with your drug-using partner, you must stick to it. If the other person does not respect the boundary, the relationship may have to end. It is also important to maintain lines of communication open and honest and to make it crystal clear what will happen if the limit is broken. Having a conversation about your limitations and boundaries with your drug-using partner is crucial before you do something that may violate those limits.

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